Saturday, January 1, 2011

The post in which I get a little sappy, and whiney.

You know that let-down feeling you get after you have had some awesome experience and the reality that, well, you have to go back to reality starts to set in? 

Well, today I have that.  In a restaurant.  In Dallas.  On my awesome get-away with my husband.

And here’s a little secret:  It isn’t about our trip ending.  Which may or may not have confused and/or offended my sweet husband. 

Men don’t really understand these moments when a woman has to cry in a restaurant because she’s happy and sad all at the same time.  I think it’s their worst nightmare.

This little Christmas break has been so unusually precious and sweet this year.  Everyday I have been overwhelmed with love and appreciation for the precious gift of my family.

And I know why.  Mia is home with us.  Every day.  And in a couple of days I will have to go back to checking the red folder, and packing lunches, and waking Mia from a dead sleep, and begging her to eat something, and telling her to “hurry up” , and car pool lines, and don’t forget your coats, and don’t forget your library books, and bedtimes…and now I’m crying again.

And this is just kindergarten.

You would think that after praying about this for six years, and making careful and intentional choices about schools, and seeing her enjoy this experience that I would have some peace.

But right now, at this very moment, the doubt and fear and grief are kind of overshadowing the peace. 

How do we live a simple life?  How do we keep our children grounded?  How do we make sure our families stay together?  How do we keep our perspective in check?

I don’t have the answers.  But I do have the Bible and I have faith and I have desire.  I think that is a good starting place for 2011.


Gena said...

Well, I can tell you next year will be easier. I can't say that I ever look forward to my daughter going back to school after Christmas break, though. I choose to look at January as downhill to summer, and that means more time with my kids and less working. ;) If Andy would just stop making this week so magical for you, I don't think you would have this problem. Next year, don't leave the house for 14 days and see how you feel then...

Wa Wa Waughs said...

LOL, I'm with you, sister. Only my kids are a LOT older. Little things start to mean a whole lot more, like my daughter cleaning up the kitchen since I've been sick. I was talking to one of my sis-in-laws recently and they are not having Christmas with their 3 kids until next weekend, because of conflicts and letting them celebrate on Christmas day with their in-laws. That totally just blows my mind even tho I'm probably just a couple of years away from that. She hinted that if I didn't make such a big deal about Christmas maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when they grow up...Kinda stinks but you're right - gotta count my blessings. Again, treasure the moments.

Amy said...

Blessings friend. Hang in there. I understand how you are feeling. It WILL be ok. Like you said, stay grounded in the Word and lay it on your children's hearts. Mine are now in college and the last one is a senior. God helps your heart to figure it out and endure the hurt of life moving on. He just fills you up more and reminds you as they grow that He loves your child more than you do. That is comforting.

Alyssa said...

I'm with you Summer. I'm never anxious for mine to head back to school. I love all breaks! Can't wait for Presidents Day!

Kayla said...

I feel like we've crammed so many things into this break- traveling, sleepovers, house projects, etc. I'm not sure we've really had much quality time with just us and our kids this break. I'm thinking we are doing a cruise and forgoing presents next year. We are both exhausted today and school starts tomorrow...

I will say that I'm one that has no problem with skipping school when they are young. If she isn't behind and you need some extra Mia time, you can have a random skip day!

Sheree Franks said...

Had that same emotion more times than I can count. Don't pull out the baby pics when this realization comes on. The good moments are too important, and some things have to be non-negotiable: family, love, God and church, dinnertime together, traditions. Go for cupcakes together and you can make her day, and yours.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel!!! I would never even carpool with friends because I wanted to be the one they talked to each morning and each afternoon. I think the preschool years are the best!!! How I miss them. It is so sad and lonely without Reece. I want those years back!!!!

Pam Kingcade