Obligatory Christmas Post

It was your typical day full of gluttony and all things made in China that will inevitably be recalled. Mia's highlight was her Madeline doll, books, and videos. Bode got a cool-mist humidifier - just what he didn't know he always wanted.

Me like robots:

Snow

Did I mention we have a new baby in the house?

As if one wasn't enough...

Top five reasons the Lashleys don't have Christmas decorations up this year

5. I am considering becoming a Jew (which might be awkward seeing that my husband is a Christian minister).
4. I am trying to be less materialistic and don't want the holiday to be all about presents under a tree (yah right, give me my CHI, Arbonne, and Starbucks or give me death).
3. All my decorations were made in China - not worth the risk.
2. I can't let go of the rotten pumpkins and dead mums on my front porch.

And the number one reason there is not a decoration or tree in sight is....
You're lookin' at him. The adorable child who NEVER SLEEPS (and by never I mean never, ever, ever).

Another day, another near strangulation.... The only thing better than one fist in your mouth
is two.

A rare moment.

Here is Mia actually acknowledging Bode's existence:

Here I am taking pictures instead of telling Mia to get her fingers out of his mouth:
The inevitable ending:

Mia, Mia is now three

Acts as bratty as can be.
She turns awful on a dime
Then she's sweet in record time.
She can quickly melt my heart,
Then she breaks it all apart
With her tantrums, screams and yells
I ask myself, "Am I in h_ _ _?"
The next second she's ready to play,
And I know I can get through another day.

When the baby won't sleep...

He gets shipped to Grandma's. My parents took Bode for the weekend so I could get some sleep (no, he isn't sleeping through the night but he sure can sleep through the day!) so we decided to take Mia to Pops. Actually, she was our excuse to go there ourselves. Any place with 500 different kinds of pop is my version of heaven.The two-headed monster:

Never mind her American Girl "Bitty Baby," Mia loves this demon possessed doll she found at Grammie and Boppy's house. Personally, she gives me the creeps with her bouffant hair and eyes that won't close (sorry Aubrie, I know she was yours, but I think she has seen better days).

Scary or not, she is Mia's new BFF.

I vow to become a better person.

I am now the proud owner of a CHI hair straightener (this would be one of those times I should link a picture, but again, too lazy to learn how to do that). How does one unpaid mother of a baby that is now on formula afford such a luxury? Well, she doesn't. Someone bought it for me and left it at my hair salon as a random act of kindness! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SURPRISED AND HAPPY. This ranks up there with my baptism, wedding, and births of my children. On top of that, for the second year in a row someone has put Christmas lights on our house while we were at church. It is so thrilling to come home on a cold winter night and see your house lit up. It is even more thrilling to not have to be the one to do it. These wonderful gifts have inspired me to pass it on (not the CHI, the kindness thing). While I may not win a Nobel Peace Prize anytime soon, I promise to not steal anything else from my own child. How's that for a start?

The secret is out...

So I never really told my husband about this blog. But in my defense, he never asked. It wasn't exactly a secret, it was just one of those things that never came up. And, for some reason I only want the entire blogoshpere to know my secrets - not Andy. So he busted me (about my little Starbucks problem, see previous post, I am too lazy to figure out how to link it).

Hubby: Hmmm, where is all of Mia's money? I thought there was more than this in Wilber (the piggy bank)?
Me: No tellin'
Hubby: You don't suppose someone took it, do you?
Me: I don't suppose (trying to look completely uninterested and unconcerned).
Hubby: I can't imagine what kind of person would do that.
Me: I can't even imagine a person that sick.
Hubby: Except maybe yourself - you will replace that money you know.
Me: Who told you?
Hubby: Lots of people. I hope that mocha was worth it.
Me: It was.

There is nothing like a marriage built on secrets, deception, and sarcasm. These are the qualities that will stand the test of time, or at least eight years.

When the baby isn't happy, ain't no one happy...

This is the face of a kid who is sooooo through nursing and is loving the formula. The only sad person now is me.

Just what you want to hear out of your kid's mouth

Me: Mia, did you have a dream last night?
Mia: Yes.
Me: What did you dream about?
Mia: Butt cheeks.

I didn't ask her who's butt cheeks they were but if they were mine, I am sure they were full of cellulite.

Photo Shoot - 3 Year Old Style

Crazy Kids

That's My Man

I guess they did need him more than we did....

A new all-time low

At any moment the ground is going to open up and swallow me. I just snuck into my child's room and took money out of her piggy bank for my Starbucks fix. WHAT KIND OF SICK AND TWISTED PERSON AM I? There is no justification for this although I do feel the need to tell you that Mia didn't earn the money (her grandparents give her change every time they see her) and she won't even notice (or care) that it is gone. But still. You might be wondering what drove me to this pit of despair. While I am partially to blame, I am putting part of this on the Starbucks corporation for opening a brand new shiny Starbucks in my neighborhood within walking distance of my house (as if I actually walk to it). And because I have already visited my new all-too-local Starbucks more times this month than I want my husband to know about, I had made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to put any more Starbucks charges on the check card this week. So to the piggy bank I went....
I will not blame you if you never speak to me again. But in case you do want to find me (to tell me what a bad person I am) I will be at the Starbucks on Memorial.

Thank goodness for aunts

If it weren't for her (and a pair of black gaucho pants as a background), poor Bode may never have had a photo shoot.

He rolls...

This one is for Daddy, who is in Gualamala (Mia's pronunciation) and missed the big event.

And Honey you can rest easy, I may have forgotten to pay the mortgage but I did update your fantasy football league just like you told me.

I Want My Mummy

All good things must come to an end.

I am officially declaring Halloween over at the Lashley house. After three trick-or-treating events before the 31st, things are getting out of hand. Mia is constantly sorting and resorting her candy all the while coming up with creative ways to eat more than her daily allotted amount ("Mommy, come and pick out your favorite piece and then we can share it!"), Andy ate an entire Nerds Rope at 1:00 this morning, and unfortunately my diet doesn't include the peanut M&M's that I ate for breakfast. So, when the porch light isn't on tomorrow night you will know why - the Lashleys are in fact home but too busy shoving fistfuls of candy into their mouths to come to the door.

Having to pick just one costume for Halloween - oh the horror!
Mia was Snow White for the church's fall festival:

She was Belle for about ten minutes before OC's trick-or-treating in the dorms (until I nixed her idea of wearing the skirt as a strapless dress and insisted she wear the complete outfit):
And finally she settled on Pocahontas:
This is her "silly pose." And yes, I sent her to Sonshine School today with no shoes because, as Mia so delicately and politely put it, POCAHONTAS DOESN'T WEAR SHOES AND I AM POCAHONTAS!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote of the day

In the car listening to a random song on the radio: "Mommy, who sings this song? Is it God or the Beatles?" I didn't know who sang the song but I knew it wasn't John, Paul, George, Ringo or God.

Congratulations Andy, your work as a parent is now complete.

Eight is Great

Well, the unthinkable has happened. Andy has managed to stay married to me eight years and he only has minimal regrets. To celebrate the fact that we haven't killed each other (especially the past two months) we went to The Melting Pot and paid an exuberant amount of money to cook our own food. I don't cook at home so he has to take me to a nice restaurant to do it. It was actually a lot of fun and we even got to have adult conversation with Jesse and Ashley - just like old times. (This is the face Andy makes every time I cook).


I will spare you all the sappy reasons that I am still madly in love with this man but here are my two favorites at the moment:I may have watered down the gene pool considerably, but at least they turned out pretty cute.

2 months and a day

Poor Bode

I'm pretty sure he is miserable in these pictures. I guess I am not helping things by running to grab the camera when I catch Mia in his crib about to suffocate him instead of rescuing my little baby.

Birthday Party - Round 2

And no, the picture was not framed....