Nobody puts baby in the corner.

I will, however, put a baby in my kid's doll crib.

This was the day I realized I really am out of the baby phase.  

If your infant falls asleep at my house they are going to be in bad shape if they are longer than 24 inches.

This is why I blog

Mia came home from art camp today and immediately launched herself into a tutorial on paper mache.    

And as I watched I had one of those weird out of body experiences that all mothers have from time to time where I couldn't believe this was my kid.  

And I lost myself in her beauty and innocence. I became captivated by her creative spirit.

 How did I produce this creature?  So different from me and yet so similar.

 And my heart was so full of love and joy and pride that I thought it might burst, right there in my filthy kitchen.

I am so thankful that my blog allows me to freeze these little moments. 

 I never want to forget how precious Mia was on this day.

And I also never want to forget that using whole wheat flour will make your paper mache paste look like vomit and smell like a dead rat.

Yah, blogs are totally worth it.

Andy surprised us this week with tickets to the circus. *Post edit

God bless him, it was a sweet gesture but I just couldn't conjure up much excitement.

He noticed. 

"Why are you trying to get out of going to the circus?" he finally asked.

"Why would I want to pay to see a circus when we're living in our very own freak show?  I can see chaos for free anytime I want to."

Andy was gracious and understanding about my irrational perfectly rational feelings and invited his cousin, Joshua, instead.

I'm sorry, but an elephant doing a headstand is just a disaster waiting to happen. 

Even Andy admitted that the lions looked like they were just biding their time.

                       

 *I've been informed that these are, in fact, tigers and that I am, in fact, an idiot.  Duly noted.

Apparently, Bode had a blast. 

Any man who will brave three kids in the Cox Convention Center men's restroom is my night in shining armor. Now that is my love language.

Happenings as of late

It's exhausting being a superhero.  (And in case you haven't seen my child in the last two weeks, then I will tell you that Bode only takes this off to bathe, swim, and, well, that's about it.)

 Mia has even less teeth.  If she loses any more we are going to have to resort to babyfood.

 Mia practicing her strokes at swim lessons.

 From now on I will refer to their teacher as the "Water Whisperer." 

 Anyone that can convince Bode to swim underwater must be a genius manipulator.

 So long floaties!

 And anyone who teaches swim lessons 7 months pregnant in this heat is a saint.  

So to sum it up, this sweet woman is the water-whispering-manipulating-genius-saint.

Sadly, none of those words has ever been used to describe me.  Except maybe manipulating, but I don't think it was meant as a compliment, although it did land me a husband so I'd say it was worth it. 

The difference between Bode and Peter Parker is that Bode isn't concerned with concealing his true identity.

Reading is cool.

Literally being at the library is cool, as I will go just about anywhere to avoid this oppressive heat.

And, I have come to get a little rush at the library because it is a distant cousin to shopping.  I get to browse aisles, pick out things I like and then leave with a really heavy bag full of goodies.  

Bonus:  I don't have to pay for any of it which justifies the ice cream treat we buy after we leave.

And there is the minor detail that it is good for my kids brains.  Yah, that's important too, I guess.

Aunt Sesa, AKA Dr. Evil

Aunt Sesa came to town today bearing gifts.

 She took away a piece of my daughter's innocence by introducing her to Claire's Boutique.

 Mia took to it like a fly to manure, a duck to water, a pig to mud.

Whatever visual is the most powerful to your senses, that's how she took to it.
(I actually cleaned that stinkin' mirror 2 days ago.  I won't be wasting my time doing that again.)

I also like to blame Aunt Sesa for introducing my kids to Sprite.  

She makes no apologies.  

I overheard Mia tell her friend, "Well, her name is Maresa but I call her Sesa, cause she's my aunt and that's just what I call her."

Thank you for always being Sesa to these kiddos.  They love you!

Love and marriage

Mia's been asking about those two subjects lately.  Specifically "how do you know who you want to marry?"

Me:  Well, there is this thing called love.  But don't waste your time trying to find it, let it find you. And on that note, Daddy and I really don't want you to date until college.  You're brain won't really be functioning correctly in high school so you can't trust your decision making skills.

Mia:  And how do they ask you and how do you know they are asking you?

Me:  There will be a ring, and if he borrowed the money from his parents to buy it or if it was financed say, "No, thank you."  Let me tell you a story about a beautiful afternoon in Prague, on a bridge.  Wait, come in my room and look at the painting on the wall, oh and here's a picture, and if you look closely that's right where your Dad was standing, and then there was this huge sign, oh let me tell you about this sign, I was...

Mia:  Never-mind, Mom, I'm going to play with my barbies now.

Me:  FINE!!!  It's your loss!


(Who's the 6-year-old now?)

Camp: The good, the bad, and the ugly

Both the bad and the ugly had to do with my hair, 

the rest of my experience was.....

wait for it.....

blessed and wonderful.

Make new friends

 but keep the old,

 one is silver

 and the other gold.

 A circle's round

 it has no end,

 that's how long 

 I want to be your friend.

Where I've been and where I'm going

Andy planned a quick little weekend away to celebrate the beginning of summer break.

 There was lots of bed jumping,

and cute sibling poses that ended in head-locks that ended in screaming that ended in all out fist-fights.  But, hey, what's quality family time for if not bludgeoning each other to death?

 Andy and Mia were in theme-park heaven at Six Flags.

 If there's one thing I have learned about theme parks it's that they are humbling places. You may think you look cute when you get there, but by the time you leave you are just as nasty and stinky and gross as everyone else.  

 Bode and I had our fill of Six Flags about 3 hours before Andy and Mia. 

 The kids loved the roof-top pool.

 Bode got all tatted up for the occasion.

 Nothing says vacation like a giant-sized rice krispy treat.

(And apparently nothing says vacation to Andy like hot fudge sundae flavored pop-tarts.  Never send your husband to the store before a trip to get breakfast foods for your children.  I think I should have made him take the oath of doctors before he went shopping for food for our children.  "First, do no harm.")

 And then there was this little impromptu event.  I can't even explain the bizarre fascination we had with this, but it was to the point that we paid to put our kid in this bubble and let tons of strangers gawk at her.

 Andy interviewed her afterwards.  "So tell us, how does it feel to be "that weird mall freak person?"  We were bursting with pride.

 And finally, there was Leggo Land.  This place was pretty neat for little kids.  Bode loved the play area.  Here he is building a leggo car to race in the little leggo race track.

 Mia loved Leggo City, the entire Dallas/Fort Worth area made out of Leggos. 

Now the next section of this post is reserved for mothers, mothers-to-be, or any woman who thinks there is even the slightest chance she might be a mother in the future.

This is where I am going to be this week:

That is the sign for a local church camp.  This is one of the nine million things I have done as a mother that I swore I would nev-ver do.

Right up there with letting my kid sleep with me for any reason what-so-ever and eating hot fudge sundae flavored pop-tarts, I swore I would never go to camp with my kid.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not too high maintenance to rough it.  I haven't had a pedicure in three years, for goodness sake.

But camp is not my thing.

Camp is for fun, outgoing, energetic people that like being around tons of children and not having access to a Starbucks.  Camp is for creative, spiritual people that can teach and inspire the youth of America.  Camp is for sporty, athletic, not afraid to try new things kind of people.

But thank goodness church camp is also for a slightly apprehensive (ok, terrified) mother who wants to be a part of seeing her daughter have a completely new and potentially life changing spiritual experience.

I wouldn't miss it for all the mosquitos and copperheads in the world.

(You know i just said that last sentence for dramatic effect, don't you? If I see a tick I'm outa there.)

The most humbling lesson of motherhood is that you will most certainly do all the things you swore you would never do and even more things you could never have dreamed you would have to do.

And you love {almost} every minute of it.