Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Two things that terrify me.

Bro-speak and tween texting.

Bode returned to Cage Camp this summer. He's loving it so much that he might just talk his Dad into letting him play an organized sport this year. I'm still philosophically opposed to it (I like my Saturday mornings at home too much), but who cares what I think? Certainly not Bode.
The games are still pretty painful to watch. There is a lot of slow motion falling and rolling around on the court wrestling for the ball. Word to the wise: Don't try and make small talk with the Dad sitting next to you by commenting that this style of play doesn't look very productive. Chances are they will give you a death stare and then turn and fist-bump the closest male to them after spitting dip into a red solo cup.
I think I'm going to have to get Rosetta Stone to learn the bro-speak at these games. I can't understand a single word any of these Dads are saying. It's maddening.
While Bode is busy 'ballin' it up on the rock' (I actually heard a guy say that yesterday and I acted like I knew exactly what he was talking about. Confession: I didn't), Mia has been receiving text messages on my phone from her friends. 

One of them said this:

Reead it alll ↓ 💕

If u were killed I wouldn't be at ur funeral .. I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed u.. 👊💢 We are true friends. We ride together we die together. 💁 Send this to everybody u care about, including me if u care... 😌 See how many times u get this. I want u to know u are an amazing friend till by death and forever. 💯 If I don't get this back, I understand. But I have a game for u. Once u read the letter u must send it to 15 people including the person who sent it to u. If u get at least three back, u are loved. ❤️👌💁. Nobody knows how important something is..... Until they lose it. Tonight, right at 12:00, the person u love will say they love u. Then at 1:00 to 2:00 be ready for the shock of ur life If u break the chain u will have bad luck. With love, send this to the 15 prettiest girls/nicest guys u knowen. If u don't u will turn ugly in one year. If u get three back, dang u cute:)

I accidentally forgot to show it to her. Oooops.

Another girl told Mia to meet her at Braum's in an hour. Let me let that sink in for a minute. One nine-year-old told another nine-year-old to meet her at Braum's in an hour. I politely explained to both of them that they were not in charge of what happened in an hour. I was. And I wouldn't be at Braum's. I would be at Starbucks, thankyouverymuch.

My life is changing in bizarre ways. I can't resist these changes forever, but I sure will be snarky about every single one of them. That's a promise. 


Wa Wa Waughs said...

Way to go, MOm. You are so Uncool. Welcome to the club!

Lori said...

That text was sent to a 9 year old?! That's unbelievable! Reminds me of the e-mails that say not to break the chain or else (I never do it). Bad enough that adults are sending those types of messages, but children? Oh my.