Two things that terrify me.

Bro-speak and tween texting.

Bode returned to Cage Camp this summer. He's loving it so much that he might just talk his Dad into letting him play an organized sport this year. I'm still philosophically opposed to it (I like my Saturday mornings at home too much), but who cares what I think? Certainly not Bode.

The games are still pretty painful to watch. There is a lot of slow motion falling and rolling around on the court wrestling for the ball. Word to the wise: Don't try and make small talk with the Dad sitting next to you by commenting that this style of play doesn't look very productive. Chances are they will give you a death stare and then turn and fist-bump the closest male to them after spitting dip into a red solo cup.

I think I'm going to have to get Rosetta Stone to learn the bro-speak at these games. I can't understand a single word any of these Dads are saying. It's maddening.

While Bode is busy 'ballin' it up on the rock' (I actually heard a guy say that yesterday and I acted like I knew exactly what he was talking about. Confession: I didn't), Mia has been receiving text messages on my phone from her friends. 

One of them said this:

Reead it alll ↓ 💕

↓
If u were killed I wouldn't be at ur funeral .. I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed u.. 👊💢 We are true friends. We ride together we die together. 💁 Send this to everybody u care about, including me if u care... 😌 See how many times u get this. I want u to know u are an amazing friend till by death and forever. 💯 If I don't get this back, I understand. But I have a game for u. Once u read the letter u must send it to 15 people including the person who sent it to u. If u get at least three back, u are loved. ❤️👌💁. Nobody knows how important something is..... Until they lose it. Tonight, right at 12:00, the person u love will say they love u. Then at 1:00 to 2:00 be ready for the shock of ur life If u break the chain u will have bad luck. With love, send this to the 15 prettiest girls/nicest guys u knowen. If u don't u will turn ugly in one year. If u get three back, dang u cute:)

I accidentally forgot to show it to her. Oooops.

Another girl told Mia to meet her at Braum's in an hour. Let me let that sink in for a minute. One nine-year-old told another nine-year-old to meet her at Braum's in an hour. I politely explained to both of them that they were not in charge of what happened in an hour. I was. And I wouldn't be at Braum's. I would be at Starbucks, thankyouverymuch.

My life is changing in bizarre ways. I can't resist these changes forever, but I sure will be snarky about every single one of them. That's a promise. 

Camp Life

This is the first year that Bode stayed at camp more then 15 minutes. He actually stayed the entire week and claimed he only "lay awake cold and missing my Mom" one night. I consider this a huge success. 

Last year, after 15 minutes of him latched onto my leg, I called my parents and begged them to rescue him (and me). It's amazing what one year in school has done for his maturity.

Mia claims she loves camp more than theater. That's a bold claim.

She's a lesson in contradictions. She's a true introvert who loves camp and theater. Go figure.

Andy actually taught a class for 4th and 5th graders this year. He also bolted out of there less than two seconds after his class was over every day. It was almost like he was in shape or something.

This sweet thing. What can you say to that?

It takes all the self control I can muster to keep from fixing my nine-year-olds hair at camp. I have to sit on my hands.

By the time she got home it was an oily, matted, chlorine-ridden, damaged mess. And I didn't say a word, not one single word. I happen to love the fact that she is not yet obsessed with her appearance. We have plenty of time for that. And besides, I have a six-year-old boy who's obsessed enough for the both of them.

 Bode got confused about his freezer bags labeled with clothes for each day. He ended up wearing the same short every day and sleeping in the clean ones. But I give him a solid A for effort.

Camp. Just one of the millions of things I swore I would never do as a parent and, like all childless proclamations, I ate my words.

A field trip back in time

About a month of so ago, Mia's class went to a one-room schoolhouse for a fake day of struggle and hardship.

Actually, I take that back. This was their fake day of curiosity and learning. Every other day of their third-grade life was struggle and hardship. (Dear Law-Makers That Decided My Third Grader Needed To Spend Her Entire Year Stressing About A Stupid Test, Stop ruining our children's lives. Sincerely, A Mom)

Mia would have made an awesome child of the land run. She loves the simple life, so long as it involves dipping a little pen into an inkwell and doesn't include any hard labor.

I tell my kids to go outside and play with sticks ALL THE TIME and they act like it's torture, but put a bonnet on and all of the sudden it's retro-fun.

Reading out of the first official textbook ever published:

We received very explicit instructions about how to dress for the day. I ignored them. I did, however, put my hair in pigtails and wear boots. It turned out more urban cowgirl than schoolmarm (thankfully).

This. Just this.

And really, I only take issue with not being allowed to loiter in ice cream shops. Because no one, and I mean No. One. will keep me away from my ice cream.

And he reads.

For the past year or so, Bode got it in his head that Mia was a reader and he was a baller. If you asked him if he could read he would say, "No, but Mia can!" And for the most part he was perfectly content letting Mia read for him. 

Finally the light bulb clicked on for this kid and he decided he wasn't too cool to read. He also decided he would do it everywhere he went.

 Notice Andy's dress socks worn as bball leggings. Bless it.

We struck a deal this summer that includes him reading and me buying him basketball cards. 

Bribery is a Mother's best friend. Don't ever forget it.

Latest Reads

I've been in a reading funk lately. In fact, I read about five books in a row that were so forgettable that I couldn't even conjure up the titles to tell you not to read them. I gave them all to my mother or I would go look in my "books-I-am-completely-indifferent-about-and-want-to-give-away-to-the-first-person-I-see-because-they-are-junking-up-my-house" pile (Sorry, Mom.)

I've had a bad run with fiction, but have enjoyed some great nonfiction recently.

This is the second time I have read this book. I am speaking about spiritual disciplines at an event this fall so I thought I better get myself disciplined real fast. This book is helping.

This was a really easy read and a great book if you ever plan to work with people on any level. It's written like a novel, but it's really a team building book.

This book was given to me by a friend and is no longer in print so I feel kind of special having it. It has all kinds of great ideas and advice about hiring the right people. But for goodness sake, if you ever plan to go to an interview, read this book (you can still download it)! You will have an edge on the nine billion other people that want the same exact job as you.

I only read this book to satisfy my strange curiosity with eccentric, dysfunctional, insanely wealthy families. Twisted lives fascinate me.

I am currently doing this bible study at church. The tagline is "Making wise decisions in the midst of raw emotions." That is code for "how not to act like a crazy b." My husband is the one that signed me up for it. (kidding.....maybe).

I just finished reading this to Bode and it's such great fiction that I felt it deserved to be included on my reading list. My children are required to read every book Roald Dahl ever wrote. Period.

And finally, I am sure I am the last person on the planet to read this little gem. This book is worth neglecting your children, taking a sick day, faking a migraine - whatever it takes to get a couple of uninterrupted hours. I read it in one sitting because I just couldn't stop. It's precious in a good way. I'm not even sure I can watch the movie because I don't want to risk messing up my mental pictures of these sweet people and their love story. 

That's all for now, folks.

Not our best week

Bode begged to go to baseball camp this year. The kid couldn't wait to show the world what he was made of.  

Then he went.

It took about two seconds for him to realize that he wasn't top dog. And it took that long for me to realize that the baseball community is a foreign culture of which I am clueless.

Here is Bode before his first day of camp:

Here is Bode on the way to his last day of camp:

Let's just say he doesn't love it.

Sometimes our kids have to do hard things, like spend a week doing something that they aren't that great at and they don't happen to love. And that's ok. 

And sometimes you kind of want to die inside when your kid is the only one without a real baseball uniform. Also ok.

If Bode learns nothing else this entire week, I want him to know that he can survive a hard week.

That's life, kid.

I happen to be learning that dragging a crying kid into a baseball practice makes me sweaty and flustered. Also embarrassed.

And that, too, is just life.

My personal favorite

Last week, my family had an estate sale at Ahmo's place. Basically, I watched my childhood disappear in about 3 hours. It was so weird. 

The fun part about getting things ready for the sale was coming across all kinds of treasures. My grandmother, Ahmo, saved a splinter that she took out of my uncle's foot when he was a kid. She literally taped it to a piece of paper and put the date on it. 

Kind of awesome and kind of weird. Ok, mostly weird.

I found every picture, letter, or card I ever sent the woman. And I also found this little piece of prose I wrote when I was eight years old:

"Halfly" is my new favorite word. My only regret is that I haven't used it since I was eight. That's about to change.