I have some bad news, some real bad news.

I don't know quite how to how to say this but I'm not one to beat around the bush so here goes: I gave Bode a mullet yesterday.

"This is not something a mother should do to her child."
"A responsible person should know better. "
"The title 'Mother' does not make you an expert on everything."

Andy may or may not have made the above comments.

Here it is in all it's mulletous glory:

I am pretty sure Mia, or even Bode himself, could have done a better job. I am humbled by my own incompetence.And to add insult to my own injury, here is Bode watching Monster Truck Jam on YouTube. It seems fitting. Go ahead and cry, just let it out. It will make you feel better although it won't make you look any better, that's for sure.

I owe you big, Son. I owe you really, really big.

How to enjoy a Starbucks Pumpkin Loaf

Oh yes, there's more.

These can't be the same children that just tried to destroy each other over 1/8th of an inch of couch space, can it?

The sundress - another Yaya original. Yah, I'm jealous too.

If anyone has a kid named Mia, please let me know.

Bode had his two-year-old photo shoot this week...

and wonder of wonders, he was actually kinda sorta cooperative. I guess it helps to have his favorite person, Lesley, taking them. And there are only about 500 more that I will post soon.

Lock up your daughters, people, this one has some tricks up his sleeve.

Mulch

In case you're wondering what to get him for his birthday. Look no further.

For the love of art

This is offically my favorite thing in my house.This woman speaks my art language.

Life is like a box of chocolates....

...you never know what your going to get.

Case in point: Mia came out of her room at 10:15 PM the other night to show me this box of chocolates she made. Pretty creative, huh?Then she showed me the lid to her chocolate box. Do you see anything concerning about this?
How about the words, "No God" just casually written across the top?

So the next morning I asked what "No God" means to her.

"Moth-ther, that is an abbreviation for 'There is no one like God and Jesus'."

She was very exasperated with my lack of insight and intelligence. I really need to quit asking questions when the answer is so obvious.

My apologies.

Is it THAT bad?

You'd think their Mom was some psycho who exploited her children on the Internet or something. It's your memories, kids. Keep that in mind some day when you're in therapy. I am only doing this for your benefit.

Wicked Hookers, how's that for a title?

So after my big birthday/anniversary surprise I pooched my lip, stomped up and and down, and shouted, "But I wanted to go to Tulsa to see Wicked on opening night with my sister and shop and eat absurd amounts of sweets for two days!!!!!!!!
And what do you know.....

Check out those fabulous earrings.

Man, we got real creative with the self-portraits. This is exciting stuff.

Actually, Maresa and I have been waiting for weeks to see Wicked (thanks, Mom and Dad), I'm not that big of a brat.

And this, my friends, is Rahab sitting in the hot sun at 2:30 PM waiting on her cousins (well, Andy's cousins kids, whatever that makes them to her) who aren't supposed to be here until supper time. You can't reason with a hooker. They just won't listen.

"Mommy, Daddy got you a wooden boobie holder at the party store."

Not a sentence I was prepared to hear gushing out of my child's mouth today. But apparently you haven't lived until you've owned a coconut bra.

I should know.

Nothing could have prepared me for my day today. It. Rocked.

It's all I can do to not make your stomachs turn by telling you how much I lucked out with this Andy guy. Seriously.


He fashioned me a fancy diet coke mocktail delivered to me by a live mariachi band (aka Erick Alexander and some random guy with a weird Jamaican accent).

Check it out. The patent is pending.
Then things got real fun.

First a necessity - my Starbucks card.

Then my favorite place on the planet, save Starbucks - Target.

Next, another favorite - as I like to call it, Forever 29.

The fourth gift of the day, a new necessity - At The Beach. I've never tanned in my life but I'm not above it.
And finally....

(And if you even have to ask if that's really us then I think I hate you.)

The best ten years of my life. No doubt about it.

So what's the deal with honey?

I consider myself a honey aficionado just because my brother-in-law's family owns a honey plant. That's my only qualification what-so-ever.

I usually get the honey "hook-up" from the Ross' but the other day I got desperate and bought a little honey bear from a grocery store.

Just look at the color difference:
The?

Why is the store bought honey almost clear? And why does it taste like corn syrup? Well, my friends, that is because it is full of corn syrup. Apparently you can claim it is "pure" honey just because what little honey that is actually in the jar is "pure" or "100%" or whatever. It doesn't mean the entire jar is "pure honey."

It's lies I tell ya, pure lies.

"You are not pure, and you know it."

It's my birthday and I'll blog if I want to

So there.

Bode is beginning to master Mia's famous "head cocked to the side with smirk" pose.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Andy and Mia headed to the Princess Tea Party. Don't ask what she's wearing. I don't know either. But I'll tell ya what I do know: It's certainly not one of the four handcrafted, custom, handmade princess outfits that Ahmo made. That would just be too predictable, now wouldn't it?

And then there's this delicious little thing looking completely stupefied.

"Mommy, why is Mia wearing a nightgown from the clearance rack of the Disney Store when she has all those gorgeous clothes in her closet?"

You tell me, Son. You tell me.