Or maybe it will. Who knows?
If you're a dude, this post is not for you. Go check your fantasy baseball scores or something.
I want to talk about boobs for a moment.
And, guys, if you're still reading this I know how much you love them but this isn't going to interest you, I promise. You know millions of ways to waste time, go do one of those. Now.
I came across this article the other day and lemmetellya, I was blown away. Blown away because in all my boob years I never knew that I was wearing the wrong sized bra. I'm built like a 12-year-old boy so I wear a bra mostly for social reasons. In fact, the brand I used to buy was called "Sweet Nothings." I kid you not.
So, after reading the article, I went here to learn how to properly measure myself, and then used this handy, dandy bra fit calculator to find my actual size.
Now, I have used all kinds of calculators from the internet. I've calculated how tall my kids are going to be, which New Girl character I am most like (Jess, duh), how much a certain house will cost, and which royal I would most likely marry if I, too, were royal. But in all my life I have never come across one to tell me what size of bra to wear. Where have I been? (Confession: I've been calculating which Wizard of Oz character I am, that's where I've been).
When I found out that I was an actual, respectable size I went all kinds of crazy. I was dancing around the house, turning cartwheels, high-fiving the mailman, and eating cookie dough like it was going to go straight to my boobs. (I secretly believe that it might.)
I was googling my new fancy bra size and was planning to buy all kinds of cute undergarments until my husband kindly reminded me that my google searches were flagging his p0rn-accountability tracker thingy which meant that every time I looked at a new bra, it sent the image directly to his best friend's inbox. Ooops.
Best day ever!