An Exegesis. Well, not technically but I like that word so I'm using it.

There is something in me that needs to come out. Believe me, I’m just as confused by this statement as you are (or at least as my husband is). It’s weird.  I can’t explain it.  But it’s as real to me as life and breath and children and food.  

The only problem is I can’t put my finger on it.
 
It’s this creative feeling that I can’t put into words yet it drives me to write drafts that I will never post and spend hours dreaming that I am in a field of flowers with an easel and a huge canvas creating a masterpiece that would make Monet or Renoir weep in admiration and appreciation.
 
This deep tugging feeling is also feeding my latest obsession to move to the country and grow a huge garden and milk cows and run in fields of clover.  Never mind I haven’t the foggiest clue about gardens, or cows or clover.
 
Lately I’ve been brought to tears by beautiful essays that I’ve read on blogs or cute little pieces of inspirational art on Etsy.  
 
And no, I’m not pregnant.  Crazy? Maybe.  Pregnant? Not a chance.
 
And then it hit me: This must be the Holy Spirit because if it’s not then I’m a narcissistic wannabee hippie.
 
It has to be the Holy Spirit.
 
So for now I will pray, and study, and wait, and listen, and hope, and anticipate.
 
And today, with the help of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit I will run my first marathon.  
 
It’s a step in my journey to satisfy this weird urge and longing that I can’t quite figure out but am thankful for all the same.  I’m thankful because it has given me the courage to train for this day and I know (okay, I hope and pray) it will give me the courage to finish.
 
So, here’s to the Holy Spirit and the work the Lord is doing in my life.  I am open to whatever the Lord brings.  It has taken me over a year to have the nerve to type this sentence and I type it with trembling fingers but it’s time:
 
I am yours, Lord. Use me.