Tuesday, September 20, 2016

I'm teaching the kids how to use Uber. It's the only way to survive.

So, I remember when my kids were babies and I thought that as soon as they could wipe their own rears I would be set. But the thing with kids is their is always, always a catch. 

They can now wipe themselves (although with Bode, at times, it's questionable) but with that wonderful ability came things like hobbies and passions, and because I'm a sucker I've indulged their desires to be involved in....wait for it....activities. 

As a result of these activities, I will not be available for coffee, dinner, a simple chat on the phone, bunco, meal prep parties, botox and wine get togethers (I've heard this is an actual thing and I love it), showers (the baby, wedding, and cleaning of the body kind), mani/pedis, proofing my texts before I send them, continuing ed, hair appointments, any kind of preventative care doctors appointments, yoga, spin class, a leisurely walk, grocery shopping, a deep conversation, naps, spring cleaning, or girls road trips until August of 2025. 

So please don't give up on me. I'll be back in no time at all.

Until then it's theater and sports. And I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty fun. A different, exhausting, living-in-the-car-eating-food-from-drive-thrus kind of fun, but fun nonetheless. 

Because I'm not organized enough right now to make informed and timely decisions, Mia accidentally got cast in two shows at once. It's insane. Music Man and Aladdin all mixed together in a sea of scripts, rehearsals, and loud shower singing.  Her life is bizarre. 

Two of these theater girls are 18 years old, and Mia, an innocent 11-year-old, looks just like them. I blame chicken for this. I've seen the documentaries. I'm no fool.

And this is the year we transition to kid-pitch baseball. For a mother of a catcher, this is terrifying. For a baby-boy catcher this is the most thrilling experience of his life. Only because he is now wearing a "cup." I'll tell you what's not a thrilling experience: Asking your kid, for the hundredth time, to quit punching himself in the cr0tch, and for the love of your future grandchildren, to quit letting his friends do it too.
I know this will come as a shock, but my life is not glamorous. 


Wa Wa Waughs said...

Making me laugh again...but your kids will be forever grateful and also regretful that they didn't get to do __________. You're an awesome Momma and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)

Kristen Baird said...

I love this-I am weak and indulgent and have succumbed to 'activities' for my older two as well. Throw in twin toddlers to tow around and I am at all times one caffeinated beverage away from a complete meltdown. (My) Summer's new favorite phrase, "more coffee mama?". Enough said. Thanks for the validation-and the smile.:)

Michelle said...

Lol....funny I thought the same thing yesterday between gymnastics and soccer practice, just for Kellyn and Maddie.....I thought how great is it that Cooper will start basketball after Kellyn's soccer season, thank goodness he's not into football. If all 4 are ever in anything I'll have to hire a driver!