Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The day Bode tried to quit kindergarten:

Bode started kindergarten last week. We could have sent him last year, but we weren't idiots - the kid wasn't ready, ya'll. It's that simple.
So imagine my surprise when my older-than-average-kindergartner, who had been at this whole school thing less than a week, decided he was done.
In an effort to make mornings tolerable around here (for me), I threw the smack down on the family not too long ago and announced that breakfast would be at 7:30 AM every weekday.  If you want to eat, you must be at the table ready to engage in quality family time, complete with bible study and thought provoking conversation. 
(Why no, dear, eating Lucky Charms while staring at a television DOES NOT EQUAL FAMILY TIME! Why do you ask?)
Yesterday, Bode's alarm went off at 7 AM, and about 7:15 I ventured down the kids' hall (otherwise known as my childrens' crap zone) to see what was up.
There I found Bode sitting on his bed in nothing but his underwear crying one of those sorta sad but mostly just stubbornly angry cries. "I'm not going to school," he said, "It's too long and I don't like it and I'm not going." (I concur with the too long thing but it's the friggin' law, kid.)
This is where I called deep on my Parenting With Love and Logic courage and under-reacted. "I'm sorry school is long. It's 7:15 and when your clock says 7:30 I really hope you choose to join us for breakfast. Oh, and remember, don't come out of your room until you're dressed."
And then 7:30 rolled around. No Bode. And then 7:45. No Bode. And then breakfast was over. No Bode.
And so I went back to his room. And he was still sitting there in his underwear with a resolve on his face that would scare a serial killer. 
And I got mad. Because I had to leave. And it was time for Andy to take that little monster to school. And his hair looked ridiculous.
I felt, at that moment, that this kid was going to turn this love and logic stuff against me so I just kept my mouth shut and started force-dressing him. I shoved his head through his shirt and then he suddenly got this ape-strength and held his arms down to the sides forcing me stretch the shirt into an unrecoverable shape to get his arms through it. Next he went wet-noodle as I forced his shorts on him.

It was ugly.
By that time I was done. I've never been happier for an early meeting in all my life. I left Andy to drag him to the car while I texted his teacher: We are in the middle of a show-down with Bode, who will be quite hungry when he gets to class. Do not feed the animal.
This morning Bode was dressed and ready for breakfast at 7:05 AM.

I am too scared to call this a win quite yet. For now, I'm living for the weekend.


Wa Wa Waughs said...

WTG! I love this story. Reminds of that day I forcibly made my son pick up a bucket of dumped crayons...I don't think I knew a thing about love and logic back then.

Lori said...

So many times parents threaten their kids with whatever but don't follow through. Bravo to you for doing what you said you would! It doesn't always work as quickly as it did this time, but isn't it great when it does? And maybe he will remember this and the next battle will be easier...

Kayla said...

Hopefully that "win" continues and he gets used to it. Mine came back and told me how awesome the first day was...however, it's probably because I've been the monster! Haha. I currently lack the patience Love and Logic requires!