Monday, April 8, 2013

I don't hate myself enough to eat quinoa.

I am willing to do all kinds of trendy things in the name of health. I eat greek yogurt, put spinach and kale in my smoothies, and meet friends for lunch at Cool Greens.

I'm all about jumping on the latest bandwagons. Once, I made kale chips and dipped them in hummus, for goodness sake.

So the other day I was in Sam's alone. That was my first mistake. And somehow I ended up leaving the store with quite a few pounds of quinoa. It's gluten free, it's organic. It's so hipster trendy that it's now ethically controversial. Once again, I was high-fiving myself for being the most amazing mom ever. "My kids are so going to thank me for this," I thought.

And then I made it.

Do not be fooled by the artsy pictures on Pinterest. 

In real life it mostly resembles my dog's vomit.
It tastes like sand with little pieces of sea shells mixed in it. Bode literally cried when he put it in his mouth. Even the dog wouldn't eat it. He would rather eat his own vomit. I'm not kidding, he has actually eaten his own vomit and would not eat this.

I'll leave the quinoa for the morally questionable vegan hipsters who do not care about the poor children in Peru.

I'm just trying to save lives, ya'll.


Ryan and Katie said...

Hehe, im a pretty picky eater but i like it, i think it tastes pretty much like rice, but ive never had it crunchy. Maybe it cooked too long? Things rarely look or taste as good as pinterest makes it sound though!

The Seat House said...

I love it! I agree, you must have cooked it wrong. It's rice to me!

Wa Wa Waughs said...

We bought some several years ago to make for a friend with special dietary needs. We made quinoa pancakes and I guess I didn't rinse it enough - it was so bitter!

Lita Blevins said...

I'm a quinoa fan and I'm dying to try the recipes for the pinterest pics you posted!

Anonymous said...

Summer, This was hilarious, as usual!!! (I must admit that I LOVE quinoa! I love to cook it in chicken broth, then add olive oil, chopped mangoes, and black beans.)

Pam Kingcade

Lori said...

I do think quinoa is better as a rice replacement than in a salad. Be sure to rinse it before you cook it and also add a little salt like you would do with rice (sea salt if you are being healthy!). It's good with stir fry or saucy food over it, or with beans.