Wednesday, June 20, 2012

If you give a girl a flat iron...

We all know that airports are a GIANT pain in the rear and you can't take ten flights on one trip and not have at least one of them canceled, so I think I can skip number 5 on my top-ten Brazil list.

If you give a girl a flat iron she will soon become dependent on it for her happiness.
If she becomes dependent on it for her happiness she will have to bring it with her to Brazil.
If she brings it with her to Brazil she might not realize that a certain hotel has 220 volt outlets.
If she doesn't realize a certain hotel has 220 volt outlets she will innocently plug it in.
If she plugs it in she will begin to use it on her hair (naturally).
If she begins to use in on her hair it will fry a GIANT chunk of her hair right off and consequently melt and explode.
If she fries a GIANT chunk of her hair off and her chi melts and explodes it will smell like something crawled up in her head and died.
If it smells like something crawled up in her head and died people will notice.
When people notice the smell, they will then notice the chunks of hair missing from her head.
When people notice the chunks of hair missing from her head she will become slightly panicked (because this isn't just a bad dream after all).
When she becomes slightly panicked she will use her few precious internet minutes to contact her hairdresser instead of her own family.
When she contacts her hairdresser instead of her own family she will be told to try not to brush it and keep it pulled back until she gets home.
When she doesn't brush it and keeps it pulled back she will start to look like a sister-wife from a polygamist compound.
When she starts to look like a sister-wife from a polygamist compound people in airports will look at her husband like he's a jerk.
When people look at her husband like he's a jerk he will quit griping about the how much flat irons cost and how she just spent $100 at the salon, like, two weeks ago.
When he quits griping about the how much flat irons cost and how she just spent $100 at the salon her lovely hairdresser will sacrifice her own vacation to fix her hair and make everything better.



2 comments:

maresa said...

I can forgive the hair,but if you ever dress like a sister-wife I will make like I don't know you.

Candice said...

Oh my goodness....laughing so hard I nearly peed.