Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Lord, help me to love loud

I failed as a parent. I miserably failed and I have repented over and over to God. I have cried, I have hated myself, I have gone over the scene in my head ten million times so as to punish myself. And today I am forgiving myself. I am praising God for his protection and mercy and grace, and I am letting it go.
Bode escaped Friday morning. He got himself up and about and walked right out the door, perhaps never to return if not for divine intervention. I bathed both of my babies, dressed them, set Bode down in the playroom, and ushered Mia in to the bathroom to begin the blow drying "process" that is her sort-of curly but mostly just frizzy hair. As I was blowing and straightening and yanking and combing I hear a woman yelling "Hello" and I hear the Bodester screaming his head off. I look up to find this strange woman in my bedroom holding my youngest child.
She found him down the street, she said.
Humiliation and shock and relief and grief and fear and more relief and udder shame is all I could feel.
In a blink of an eye my kid was gone and I never even missed him.
So, I am now a changed woman. I have been humbled. I am so thankful that God sent that lady home early on her lunch hour because it was going to take me at least another 5 minutes to finish that crazy hair of hers and then who knows....
I hugged him a little tighter, held him a little longer, and stared in amazement at his precious face all weekend long.
And then this thought occured to me: What if I had been naked when that complete stranger walked into my bedroom? Once again, I thanked God.

9 comments:

Gena said...

Good grief, Summer. That is terrifying. I'm so glad you had an observant neighbor that knew which house Bode belonged to. What a blessing. You didn't fail. That stuff just happens sometimes.

Mandy said...

I agree with Gena, that stuff just happens. You have not failed and you are a good mom!
Mase climbed out of the backyard when he was 18 months old. He crossed the street and was knocking on the Osburn's door. All our doors have keyed dead bolts and remain locked most of the time.

Brandi said...

Wow - Mandy is right - that stuff happens sometimes and you just can't beat yourself up about it. (I would have done the same thing though). I am so happy God was watching out for you guys and that woman took care of him.
Do you want to know the funny part? When I read the part about the strange woman in your bedroom with Bode - I thought - "I hope Summer was dressed!!" HA! Glad to know you were! :)

Elizabeth Mullins said...

Summer, you are an awesome Mom and the best part is you can show others how to forgive themselves for things that just happen. Praise God that Bode is okay and Mia has cute hair!

Tara Hobbs said...

Summer - I had tears...I am so happy that Bode is okay. I am sure he was just trying to come play with Kaison, but next time he needs to ask!! You are an awesome mother and thank God for his daily protection!!

Kayla said...

About two years ago, Wes and his brother fell asleep while babysitting the kids and they went down the road and a neighbor came! I just knew I was going to get called by DHS for neglect...It happens! It's funny how you get more and more comfortable with taking your eyes off the kids and then bam...something happens. I'm glad we live in a pretty good neighborhood!

Wa Wa Waughs said...

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO Scary! Been there! Glad nothing bad happened. Guess you'll have to let the hair go it's own way for a while!!!

Beck said...

HOW SCARY!!! So glad your baby boy is safe, what a blessing! That is truly my worst fear! Hope you have a great day (:

Lita said...

Been there. God knows this is going to happen and choreographs our neighbors' timing perfectly.