I've never had an issue with tattoos...

unless they are on my son.

 This is one of those things I allow in the name of 'the kids are getting along and aren't yelling at me to bring them a snack, and "Oh, yah, can you please feed it to me while you're at it because I'm feeling lazy and entitled and am certain that mothers live only to serve my every whim and command."'

I'm not bitter, why do you ask?

And in other news:

 Andy wiping her tears - be still my non-bitter heart.

 I'm not bragging or anything but once Dad went to the office and Mom came on to the scene

 this happened!

I realize that most of your kids were riding a bike at three but for this little non-risk-taking-almost-eaight-year-old this is kind of a big deal.
I also realize this bike is made for a three-year-old.  Until almost-eight-year-olds learn to ride their three-year-old bike without training wheels they don't get an eight-year-old-bike.

Well, i believe I have used my limit of connecting-phrases-with-dashes for one day.  Adios!

The Knowles are awesome.

I am sure when the Knowles agreed to go to Brazil with us they were slightly terrified.

 Because, you know, it's us. 

 I don't want to spend 17 days with us, so I can't imagine how they must have felt.

Thankfully, they were willing to face their fears and I attempted to hide my crazy for the first 24 hours, and by the grace of God it all just kind of worked.

It helped that our kids are all at the glorious ages where things like this are not awkward or inappropriate in the least.

And they learned how to entertain themselves and each other during the many hours that they had to sit through church services and events in Portuguese.

After ten planes and countless bus, van, and taxi rides these kids just learned to roll with things. 

 They made up all kinds of bizarre games that almost always ended with someone in tears.

 There was no shortage of face squeezing, 

 hand jives, 

and super-annoying slapping/hitting/fighting episodes.

So basically they acted just like they do at home.

 Well, except for getting to see one of the natural wonders of the world. 

 It's so weird how none of those are in Oklahoma.

 Personally, I was so, so blessed to experience this with them.

 And I was so, so proud of the way these lil' punks handled themselves, all things considered.

 Corben was gracious enough to tolerate Bode's worshipping of him.  It was quite a sacrifice.

 They genuinely enjoyed each other

 which kept these two Mommas from having to sell one of them to the Brazilian mafia.

I know without a doubt that the Lord brought all of us together

 for such a wonderful time as this.

If you give a girl a flat iron...

We all know that airports are a GIANT pain in the rear and you can't take ten flights on one trip and not have at least one of them canceled, so I think I can skip number 5 on my top-ten Brazil list.

If you give a girl a flat iron she will soon become dependent on it for her happiness.
If she becomes dependent on it for her happiness she will have to bring it with her to Brazil.
If she brings it with her to Brazil she might not realize that a certain hotel has 220 volt outlets.
If she doesn't realize a certain hotel has 220 volt outlets she will innocently plug it in.
If she plugs it in she will begin to use it on her hair (naturally).
If she begins to use in on her hair it will fry a GIANT chunk of her hair right off and consequently melt and explode.
If she fries a GIANT chunk of her hair off and her chi melts and explodes it will smell like something crawled up in her head and died.
If it smells like something crawled up in her head and died people will notice.
When people notice the smell, they will then notice the chunks of hair missing from her head.
When people notice the chunks of hair missing from her head she will become slightly panicked (because this isn't just a bad dream after all).
When she becomes slightly panicked she will use her few precious internet minutes to contact her hairdresser instead of her own family.
When she contacts her hairdresser instead of her own family she will be told to try not to brush it and keep it pulled back until she gets home.
When she doesn't brush it and keeps it pulled back she will start to look like a sister-wife from a polygamist compound.

When she starts to look like a sister-wife from a polygamist compound people in airports will look at her husband like he's a jerk.
When people look at her husband like he's a jerk he will quit griping about the how much flat irons cost and how she just spent $100 at the salon, like, two weeks ago.
When he quits griping about the how much flat irons cost and how she just spent $100 at the salon her lovely hairdresser will sacrifice her own vacation to fix her hair and make everything better.

This too shall pass.

Bode's latest phase:  A man-purse.  It's slightly mortifying and slightly awesome.  

Tonight he rocked the European carry-all in bible class.  I almost apologized to his teacher for it until he whipped it open, shoved all his class papers in it and offered me some of his chapstick.

Hey, if it makes my life easier I'm all for it.

And if his "satchel" causes you to question his manliness, he will totally go ninja on you.

My Husband Is My Hero

Continuing with my top ten countdown, number four is about Andy.       

Because, really, this trip was his idea.  

I don't think of doing things like this. 

I think of taking naps.  In my house. 

And if I'm feeling really crazy I think of drinking two cups of coffee IN THE SAME DAY.  

(I got nervous just typing that.)

So naturally I was a little panicked at the thought of taking my children to a country that is different than mine to serve people that are different than me.

But thankfully, Andy challenges me to think outside my comfort zone.

And he expects our family to think big and take risks.

He also challenges our family to live out The Great Commission.   

And the first word of the great commission is "Go."

And so we went.

I am so thankful this man is intentional.  

And I am so thankful he is the one leading my family.

I believe that my kids rock.

I am sure that is no surprise to anyone.  I also believe that when you can't pick just one picture of your kids, go ahead and pick 34, 'cause no one could possibly get tired of seeing pictures of these children I somehow produced.

Mia truly embraced the experience.  She made friends with girls at all the churches we visited.  The language barrier didn't seem to be a huge issue to the kids.

 This is the moment Bode realized that it was an actual parrot that was copying him.  Priceless.

 Brazilians love little blonde-haired children like I love an Americano from Starbucks.  It's intense.

 This kids learned a very valuable lesson on this trip.  It's called "how to wait."  Brazilians concept of time is pretty much nonexistent so they waited A LOT on this trip.  And guess what? They didn't die a slow, painful death due to lack of stimulation.  

Bode picked this little wooden carving of the Christ Statue at a gift shop.  He then declared that he would "put it next to his bed on his dresser and worship it."

 Is this blasphemous? I hope not 'cause every one of us had to pose this way.

Bode said he wanted a basketball goal "just like the one at the orphanage" for his birthday.  Hmmm, not exactly what I had envisioned  hanging outside our driveway, but hey, I'm flexible.

No zoning codes equals a rooster in the middle of the city.  I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it.

The kids surpassed my expectations in every way.  Mia is the easiest traveler I've ever seen.  It helps that she never gets tired and has never been in a bad mood.  Thankfully, Bode can still curl up in my lap and fall asleep anywhere, and that is exactly what he did every night (while I sweated profusely).

I loved every minute of this trip.  I'd go again tomorrow.