Why Children Should Not Be Allowed in Public

In a crowded Mexican restaurant with no less than 15 Hispanic people around us:

Bode: I know all about opposites. I can tell you the opposite of ANYTHING!
Me: Ok.
Bode: Like, the opposite of ice cream is.....snowcones!
Me: Hmmmm.....
Bode: And the opposite of cats is dogs!
Mia, in complete exasperation: Bode, not everything has an opposite. Why are you so annoying?
Bode, shoving chips in his mouth and smacking loudly: The opposite of salsa is queso!
Mia, about to blow up: BO. DEE. Those are not opposites! What is wrong with you? It's such a burden to be more intelligent than everyone else on the entire planet. (well, not that last part, but given the judgy look on her face, I am sure she was thinking it.)
Bode in a super loud voice that every person within 10 feet of us was sure to hear: And the opposite of Mexican is.......NORMAL!!!

Check, please.


This kid. What he lacks in knowledge he more than makes up for in confidence.