Which assumes that's it's been hilarious up until this point. That may be a bit presumptuous of me, or then again maybe not.
I have a seven-and-a-half year old. Gone are the funny stories about potty training, nap times (or lack there-of), and trying to nurse her baby dolls. The world of a seven-year-old girl isn't really all that funny. It's complicated and serious. And kind of heart-breaking.
For example, take our conversation last night.
Mia (stepping out of the bathtub): I'm fat.
Me: What! You are NOT fat. You are perfect just the way you are.
Mia (arching her back as far as she can): Look at my stomach, it sticks out.
Me (in a complete panic): You are arching your back. Don't be silly.
A couple of hours later, I decided to broach the subject again.
Me: Mia, I hope you know that you are not fat.
Mia: I know. But I still need to go on a diet.
Me: How do you know about diets?
Mia: Mom, how do I not know about diets?
And I can't get that sentence out of my mind. How does she not know about diets? That's the reality of our girls' lives today.
After she said that, and after I recovered from feeling like I had been punched in the gut, I rambled on about how it's not healthy for young girls to be on diets, and diets are from Satan and your brain can't grow if you don't eat and oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-not-cut-out-for-this-parenting-thing-I-want-to-get-out-of-this-I-am-going-to-kill-Andy-for-going-to-that-Thunder-game-I-need-therapy-no-she-needs-therapy-oh-my-goodness-we-ALL-need-therapy-I-can't-breathe-somebody-help-me.
I feel I handled it perfectly and am confident the subject will never be so much as thought of again.
So, this may be a turning point. This blog is a way to document my kids' lives and so I am going to go there. It's not all about poopy diapers anymore. It's much scarier. I may not survive it.
But for the sake of this adorable smile and feisty spirit, I am determined to press on. This blog may not always be pretty, but I'm determined that it will always, always be real.
I have a seven-and-a-half year old. Gone are the funny stories about potty training, nap times (or lack there-of), and trying to nurse her baby dolls. The world of a seven-year-old girl isn't really all that funny. It's complicated and serious. And kind of heart-breaking.
For example, take our conversation last night.
Mia (stepping out of the bathtub): I'm fat.
Me: What! You are NOT fat. You are perfect just the way you are.
Mia (arching her back as far as she can): Look at my stomach, it sticks out.
Me (in a complete panic): You are arching your back. Don't be silly.
A couple of hours later, I decided to broach the subject again.
Me: Mia, I hope you know that you are not fat.
Mia: I know. But I still need to go on a diet.
Me: How do you know about diets?
Mia: Mom, how do I not know about diets?
And I can't get that sentence out of my mind. How does she not know about diets? That's the reality of our girls' lives today.
After she said that, and after I recovered from feeling like I had been punched in the gut, I rambled on about how it's not healthy for young girls to be on diets, and diets are from Satan and your brain can't grow if you don't eat and oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-not-cut-out-for-this-parenting-thing-I-want-to-get-out-of-this-I-am-going-to-kill-Andy-for-going-to-that-Thunder-game-I-need-therapy-no-she-needs-therapy-oh-my-goodness-we-ALL-need-therapy-I-can't-breathe-somebody-help-me.
I feel I handled it perfectly and am confident the subject will never be so much as thought of again.
So, this may be a turning point. This blog is a way to document my kids' lives and so I am going to go there. It's not all about poopy diapers anymore. It's much scarier. I may not survive it.
9 comments:
Oh MAN. I'm with you....Delaney will be 7 this summer, and honestly? I am terrified of what's coming. I SO want her to be confident in God's love and herself, and not care what the world thinks.
From your blog, I can tell you are doing an amazing job with your kids. Since Mia is older than Delaney, send any tips that work my way. :)
When I was teaching school, I was shocked at how my 4th grade girls didn't want to eat anything at the parties we had because "They didn't want to get fat", and of course all them were healthy weights. Only the boys ate. So sad... I just wanted them to enjoy being kids. It sounds like you handled it well. One thing I have tried to do is to NEVER gripe about my weight (no matter how gross and fat I feel or acually am) in front of the family or talk about diets or eat differently from the family, I just try to fix healthy foods, etc. Ughh.. I just want them to stay babies.
I just got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tell me she did not say "How can I not know about diets?" I don't even think miss observant over here knows about that one. Then again, maybe she does. I have had to remind myself not to affectionately call R 'skinny minny' or laugh at her small waist when I am tightening her elastic waistband. I don't want her to think those are traits that I associate with her or value her having.
Maybe a lot less funny, but a lot more proud moments...
I don't think my kids ever worried about that stuff but I just let them graze when they were hungry. One of my few rules was no snacking 1 hour before dinner. Good advice from Katie.
May I recommend 5 conversations you must have with your daughter: the Bible study, which we are offering this summer at MRCC on both Tuesday and Wed. nights? This exact topic is addressed in Conversation 1: "You are more than the sum of your parts," and the associated lesson, Redefining Beauty. "Sons" study will also be offered on Wed. nights this summer (and Tues. nights in the fall). Recommended for moms of elementary to college. Check it out online in another week or so.
AWW! I feel sick for you! I feel sick for the day I have to talk about that with my daughter.
I was reading someone's blog the other day, I believe it was something I had found on Pinterest.
Anyhow, she had the same thing come up with her daughter and she said to combat it that she stripped to her underwear and bra and they looked in the mirror together talked about all the things they loved about themselves and then jiggled their bellies in laughter. I thought it was so lovely. just thought I'd share
I took my kid to a birthday party yesterday where the birthday had two mommies. Yeah, was not ready for that, and it was REAL not funny.
It's so sad how much pressure is on women in this society. I have already been told at least 2 dozen about my daughter "she's so chubby but oh don't worry, she'll thin out when she's older" and "she'll grow out of her baby fat, don't worry"
I'm like, she's 1? I wasn't thinking any of that but clearly you were. Leave my child alone you vultures!
Poor Mia, I think she's just fine how she is (brave, creative, and thoughful)
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